Sad thoughts

4am is the right time to writte down sad feeling we may have, and i have a lot of them. Life, love, nothing seems to go well... why? 'cause i simply seem to like it, 'cause i can't/dont want to change this f*cking life im having, full of dreams that arent much more than that: dreams, that probably never going to come true! when am i gonna stop? when am i gonna open may eyes? maybe the day there's nothing much left to live i realize what ive lost, but for now i can't change, and i dont want to loose what i have... whatever, im not supposed to be happy anyway. i only hurt people i love, i never do anything that makes people really happy, if i try i only f*ck up things so i better be quiet on my corner. i always think thing can't get any worse but im always wrong. sometimes i just lay down on my bed thinking, thinking and thinking and i can remember so well the good memories cause they are so few! it may seems so dramatic but it isnt, its real! maybe its not as bad as i paint it, but its the way i feel it, i think the way i feel things make everything hurt me, thats why i get hurt so easily... its hard to explain, i can't even understand myself.