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Portugal...

No país em que nasci, existem mães que matam os seus próprios filhos, escondem o que fizeram, e ainda têm o descaramento de denunciar um suposto 'desaparecimento'. Estou a falar da pequena Joana. Hoje sabe-se que está morta, mas a mãe e o tio da menina ainda não revelaram onde se encontra o corpo. As questões financeiras são uma das principais suspeitas na tentativas de explicar este crime. O tio de Jona teria agredido a menina até à morte para lhe conseguir roubar o dinheiro que tinha consigo. Por €10 poderá ter morto um familiar, e acima de tudo uma criança! Mas as suspeitas caem por terra quando a mãe admite ter morto a própria filha. Um caso macabro com muitas questões ainda por resolver. Descansa em paz, Joana. Este mundo em que vivemos já não te pode magoar.

É ainda neste país desenvolvido de 3º mundo que crianças são abusadas sexualmente em instituições de estado, em que se morre á espera de assistencia médica, em que o insucesso escolar ultrapassa os níveis razoáveis, e no qual ninguém parece conhecer a palavra 'civismo'. Sem falar, está claro, do nível de vida, dos salários mínimos, das atribuições de pensões estatais, que tantos nos envergonham frente a outros países da comunidade europeia, aos quais supostamente nos deveriamos igualar.

É o nosso país...

(bad) news

how would it be like to die with 19 years old? thats the question on my head since i found out that two guys i knew, not from school, but they were on my friends group, died at the age of 19 years old, last sunday, if im not mistaken. you start to think about everything, and how life can be so short. i mean i knew those guys, they were always around my school and now... i won't ever see them again. i knew the driver better, it happened on a car accident, the driver was not drunk but he was speeding, aparantly competing with another car, and he lost total control of the car, and they hit on a wall. the driver and the passanger sitting next to him died immidiatly, on the back seat there was 3 guys: one didnt got hurt, only a few scratches, another one broke a leg and an arm but got out of the hospital to go to his friends funeral, and theres another one in critical state, hes in coma... probably won't survive. shitty life.

about school, my schedule is going to change again, i'll know the changes tomorrow. im sure it will change for worse! the new teachers (all girls) are all weird. we're probably just not used to them. some are nice, some not really but... its what we have. oh and ive heard something about the new 'school rules'. completelly pathetic, like we can't be on the windows, we can't stay in the classrooms in break-time (this when it starts raining will be sooo fun!!), we can't stay on the school front door... great, uh?

now about my heath... it would be all ok if i was not so fat right now. im putting up weight like crazy, cause aparantly im not eating what i should and as i should. i need to eat more between meals, drink more water (but not during meals or at night), eat slowly, no sugar at all... well, its kind of ok. i only think i'll be hungry all the time but thats... you know... a consequence.

fresh news

wwwwow! where do i start!? its been a long day, but im gonna sum it up cause i have to go to bed in soon. im going to be in a class alone with another girl! its just the two of us on the 4th area of my year! waw how exciting! *rolleyes* now another new: theres alot of new faces this year, and less kids (kids meaning the annoying hundreds of 12 y o boys and girls that my school used to have). my history teacher, that now its the pedagogic director of the school, told me that they made a selection, to increase the quality of students, and till december some of them are going to be asked to leave if their behaviour is not good. well, with the new administration came alot of new 'rules' that everyone is supposed to follow. we're like on an experimental year to see how all the new things work out. the theory is great though. i really hope it works out! i also met some of my new teahers... aaaargh! a filosophy teacher that is 6 years older than me! and shes the responsible for my class! great. the french teacher doesnt look or sound too good to me, i didnt have class with her yet, but... i got the feeling. portuguese its with an old teacher of mine, well... shes like the wind. sometimes good, sometimes bad. then geography. i didnt meet her yet, but people say shes nice. and lets wait for the rest of the week...

yet more updates

i forgot to talk about the driving school! well i couldnt have more classes before i know my school schedule, so i only went there right before i got it in my hand. with that big sh!t i could only have this ones: september: 21 at 17h, 27/28/29/30 at 16h. october: 01/06/08/12/13 at 16h and 19/20/21/22 at 17h. wow, how great is that!? i dont drive for over 3 weeks and then i'll have one class and have to wait another week to go on. great. definatly great! now what i was thinking was... i'm never happy with what i have. i'm thinking about making a revolution on my bedroom, but for the essential i need cash, and i'm guessing this will be a bit expensive. my linen cup-board is huge, and its part of the bedroom, theres no way i could take it out of there. thing is it takes alot of space from the room, and its not big anyway. and its even worse when i need to open it with two big door taking even more space out of the room. so i want to chnge the doors to this kind of doors that will give me a lot more of space. click here like the one you see on that picture, only i want the doors with mirrors on the outside, but im thinking about it yet, maybe its not a good thing. anyway, i think thats what im going to ask for my xmas present heheh i dont want anything else at the moment really. i got my new phone this summer (sony ericsson t630), i was thinking about a new digicam but since im not gonna need it as much in the winter, i think it can wait, this one is still good. another good xmas present would be good marks at school =) i really need it, and im going to make everything right this time, if all goes well. at least i'm going to try. more updates soon.

new beggining

the title is right. a completelly new beggining! there were alot of changes on my school this year. my history professor became the school owner and director, so from now on everything its going to be his way! most of my teacher left, most of them i know since i was just a little girl, since i first walked throught that door! i know in practice it will all be alot better, but im sure gonna miss my old teacher. they were almost like family to me. i might be exagerating a little but its almost 10 years with the same people. so, english, portuguese, filosophy, french, geography and maths teachers left. some got fired, some quite themselves. even the people working at the bar, at the canteen and at the secretary arent the same! that man is a revolutionary for sure! well one good things was that my french teacher did the school calendar, im completelly pissed off about it cause i have an awfull one, but its something to remember her. lets see how things will work, classes only officially start on monday.

well i also went shopping for school latelly. ive been buying stuff for a week lol i always find some nice stuff that i like and i waste alot of money heheh
and its all for today, more news on the next week, i hope good ones.

holliday sh!t

stuff that i came out with this summer:

Empty
A little bit of everything
nothing for full
no essence
a soul filled with garbage
trying to be better than myself
trying to be as good as others
i never proved to myself
what i was trying to prove to you
never realised you didnt need a prove
you didnt need anyone else
you needed the 'me' i was pretending not to be
never understood why you had to run
i know now you were afraid
this social monster will die alone
regretting his mistakes... too late.
---------------------------------
If these walls could talk
i wanted them to tell you about me
about us
about our shadows in the dark
about our echoes in the night
if only they could talk about my screams
about my tears when you left...
--------------------------------
the fresh smell of the summer when i open the window
your arms surrounding me to watch the sunrise
the bed is still warm
our aching bodies support each other
i feel your sweet lips on my skin
i have your sweet words in my mind
can i hear them again?
"i love you, princess"

well thats it, and enough sh!t...

songs of the summer

well the summer is almost gone, and i dont believe that there is going to be any more "summer-song" this year. theres different songs for everyone, mine, this year, were:
O-Zone :: Dragostea din tei - for me it was the greatest hit of this summer, i've listen to this thousands of times and i dont get tired!
Aventura :: Obsession - don't get tired of it either, could dance it aaaaaall night long.....
Kevin Lyttle :: Turn me on - oh baby... don't get me started on this :p
Bryan Adam's Summer of '69 remix by some krazy DJ - I know its old, but this year was special ;)
Britney Spears :: Everytime - Striptease anyone? hahah
Usher :: Yeah - I thought we were going to die that night, the house was going down! :p
Kane :: Rain down on me - parrrrrrrty time!
And thats it :) and i guess its enough.. nice 2004 :)

hollidays - over!

time to say goodbye to the summer. im actually very excited about going back to school. last week was great, it was my hollidays extra week lol but very nice coz otherwise it would have been a very short time. the only bad thing was some people that for as more as i try, they don't understand the way i am, and i think they never will... don't have much more to write. i took alot of pictures, so i think an image can say more than all the words. i'll remember those hollidays for the pictures. the missunderstandings and problems are to forget.

hollidays interruption

yup, it happened again. last year by this time i was in France. i actually think i never talked about it on this blog. i was having a health problem for over 2 years and my aunt took me with her to France cause she thought there were more chances of the doctors find out what my problem was. the first week was fine, i had to make a medical exam but they've put me to sleep so i didnt feel anything, and with that they still didnt find anything on me, any desiese, i was healthy. on that weekend i started to feel the unberable pain on my tummy again. i thought it would pass like the other times but it didn't. but i didn't want to go to the hospital so i stayed about 5 days in bed. i was so sick that i remember one of those night happened something that today i remember as one of the better memories i have, and i couldn't even react. i didn't have strenghts to move my arms, it was the only thing i needed to do. anyway, later on that week my uncle and my aunt finally took me to the hospital, on an emergency and they made me alot of exams, including a very simple one that was the only thing they needed to find out that i have chron desiese! two years and the only thing i needed was that exam! its time like those that im prod of being portuguese. anyway, i got back to Portugal the day after, directly to another doctor that started to control my medication and that i still go to every month or every two months. but all that happened in september, when i should be enjoying the hollidays. almost the same thing happened this year. first im gonna talk about the good news. on the first week in Pombal everything was great, i went to the beach 3 days, learned to play tenis, went out alot with my cousins, saw my familly again, everything good! expect some details about my childhood "friends" that are now ignoring me, some of them, but that will change soon cause i won't give up. they'll have to find a good explanation i hope. so this sunday i was with my cousin at my house, and we were on the back yard and lit up a candle with a f*cking cane on the inside. everyone says that burning canes gives thootaches but i never believed it. i only know that both me and my cousin could not sleep that night in so much pain! well hes a healthy guy, has healthy thoot and the pain was over in the morning, but with me was a tiny little bit different. i have a bad thoot that is going to come out soon! and it didnt stop hurting on the 3 following days! i thought "great, i'll find a dentist and everything will be back to normal" now who the hell said i could find a dentist on that end of the world?? there was alot of them, but i have an infection and i dont want to die on a dentist chair thank you! me, my mum and my gramma caught a train and here we are in Lisbon again. only for the night i guess. the dentist could not take the thoot out cause its infected, but he will as soon as im back from my hollidays. that is either this sunday OR the next one, we might stay another week, im not sure yet. i miss everything here, but i would also like to spend more time there... for some reasons... well lets see, i just hope the medication will take my pain away and i can enjoy the rest of my hollidays. to my "net-friends": see you soon guys ;-)