the sky is crying

right, i don't blog for so long... mainly cause i didn't know what to write in here i guess. and why did i chose *today* to post? who knows... its past 5am, ive had a dog day, i can't sleep.. that enough? its almost christmas. and its so damn sad. i wish it was mid-january already. i like christmas but its sad its not like i wanted it to be. grrrr nothing turn out as i wanted it to, not even christmas. shopping is depressing, i hate myself! urgh.. i wish i could be me again, even though i know things wont be the same... id have at least some self esteem. and if anyone tells me looks dont matter i swear i'll rip their heads off! in all honesty i do like to hear i have a pretty face.. but it makes me want to cry cause i know what they're thinking. and i feel small (oh the irony), i want to dissapear, i swear to myself i'll never shop again, that i'll never even leave my bedroom again. losers are supposed to be locked inside right its where i belong. aaaaaalright i'll stop with the depressed speach.. but its all true, i can't stand this anymore.

i finally found jeff thomas, the one who draw those little yellow emo cartoons you see all around the internet - they were so cool!! but ow well... i got the title of this post from one of his.
gotta go now, its late...
*picks up an image to upload*
nah its not worth it i should give up